I Cried For Help But Nobody Came
by Trekkiehood
Summary: A Marvel One-Shot book dealing with mental disorders and other deep topics. Open to requests. Pg13 - WARNING: Basically any trigger you can think of. Detailed list inside. - I do not own Marvel or any recognizable people or places.
1. Requests

Hello all, this a one-shot book dedicated to dealing with mental disorders. Some will end happy, some will end sad.

**Request Form**

Main Character:

Disorder:

Supporting characters:

Approxamite timeline:

Happy or sad ending?

Basic Outline of Story:

I will take requests from the following list:

**Disorders**

Anxiety

Depression

Self-harm

Suicide

Eating Disorders

Nightmares

PTSD

Addictions

**Characters**

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Peter Parker

Natasha Romanoff

Clint Barton

Sam Wilson

Leo Fitz

Jemma Simmons

Phil Coulson

Malinda May

Al "Mack" MacKenzie

Elena "Yo-Yo" Rodriguez

If you have more ideas, I'm not opposed. Just let me know!

God bless,

Jamie


	2. The Phonecall Part 1

**Well, this is a dark one. It's been on my mind a while and just would not leave me alone. **

**This takes place after Civil War and is whatever the opposite of a fix-it is.  
I lean towards Team Cap in this story, but I'm more of a neutral.  
Sam Wilson does not agree with my neutrality, so if you're going to flame, just don't read it. **

**WARNING: STORY INCLUDES**

**Anxiety Attacks**

**Suicide**

**Please stay safe!**

**~TH~**

Tony never intended to call. He only kept the phone with him for reassurance. No matter how much he didn't want to admit it, the fact that he could contact Steve and the rouge Avengers whenever he needed to, gave him a sense of peace. He wasn't over everything. Not yet. But he was to a point where he realized they both had their faults.

Tony never intended to use the phone. He certainly didn't expect it to start ringing.

He found himself staring at it for several long seconds before he picked it up.

"Hello." He tried to sound firm, not questioning. He wasn't ready for this.

"H-hey Tony." It was Steve. It was definitely Steve.

"Rogers. What do you think you're doing? I could call Ross right now with your coordinates." He wasn't really angry anymore. A few months ago, it wouldn't have been an idle threat. But now, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

A soft laugh sounded from the phone, "That's true. And if you did..." There was a pause. The billionaire felt a catch in his breath. "I'm sorry Tony. I-I was wrong. Should have, should have told you. My fault. I-I'm sorry."

Well, he hadn't been expecting that. "You know, uh" Tony found his own voice cracking slightly, "I could talk to Ross. I bet he'd pardon you, or whatever political thing needs to be done, if you'd just sign."

"I think it's too late for that." It wasn't said with amnesty or hatred. It wasn't even said with the righteous indignation that was so familiar. It was quiet and honest and... Weak.

Tony tried to sound light-hearted and convincing, "Aw come on! It'd be fine! You may not agree with it, but it's better than being a fugitive, right?"

"Tony..." He sounded so tired. Where had he been the last couple months?

"Is this about Barnes?" A wave of anger passed over him. "Because you know-!"

"He's gone." The brokeness stopped the billionaire's rampage.

"What do you mean?" Did the Soldier escape his friend's careful watch? If so, this was exactly why...

"He went under cyro. He didn't... He didn't want to be a danger to anyone."

That... Wasn't what he was expecting. "Cap..."

"I'm sorry Tony." It was said in a deep sigh. The billionaire had a dread-filled feeling he was no longer referring to what the news had dubbed the "Civil War".

"Steve, what-?"

"Goodbye,"

"What? Steve? What's happening. What do you mean its too late? Steve?!"

"I'm sorry." The broken whisper was followed by the sound of a gun discharging.

"Steve!"

There was only silence.

**~TH~**

**I'll post the next part tomorrow.**

**Don't expect it to get happier. **

**If this upset you, I suggest not going to the next chapter.**

**It only gets worse.**

**Please review!**

**God bless,  
Jamie**


	3. The Phonecall Part 2

**A million thanks to ****SouthernGal7** **and ****Violin_0711****. They both got constant texts with "What should I do next?" "Do you think I should...?" "What if I...?" **  
**So needless to say, I couldn't have done this without them!**

**This is where characters hate a bit on team Iron Man. I personally like him (wow... That's an understatement) but for this story, I believe this is how they would react.**

**And just so you know, I don't watch the movies past AoU very often (because they depress me and my babies are fighting) so my Friday may not be very good. **  
**I'm a Jarvis lover... So... Sorry.**

**~A~**

"Friday find out where the call came from!" No, no, no, no, no, oh please no.

"Boss, it looks like your having a-"

"I know! Okay! Jus-just find him!"

He stumbled into his suit, wanting nothing more than for this to be some awful nightmare.

"The phone call came from a Super8 Motel in Brooklynn. Feeding you the coordinates now."

This wasn't real. None of this was...  
This was his fault all his fault. This was his fault. He couldn't... He needed...

"Boss, breathe. I'm contacting Col. Rhodes."

"No, just, just go!"

He had to get there. Had to stop this. Had to see... Had to... To...

"Room 314." The AI supplied as Iron Man arrived at the rundown building.

The window made an excellent door. He crashed in, glass shattering to the floor. The room was small with only two duffle bags and what looked like a months worth of fast food wrappers.

"Steve!" He flipped his faceplate up, calling out.

"Check the bathroom, Boss."

He did. He regretted it.

The super soldier was lying in a pool of blood, a bullet hole neatly through his right temple.

"No." He whispered, "No, no! Friday!?"

"He's dead Boss."

"No, no, no, no." He brought a hand to his mouth, trying to stave off the vomit that was beginning to rise.

The outer door opened, "Steve?" The voice was careful. "Did a bird fly into the window again?" It was Sam. He was trying to sound unconcerned, but the fear was too deep to hide.

Tony should leave, or at least make an attempt to move away. But he couldn't. He couldn't pry his eyes away from the sickening sight.

Sam rounded the corner, "You," the angered voice came. Tony heard before he saw the gun being cocked. Then Sam saw Steve.

He shoved past Iron Man, kneeling by his friend. "What did you do!?" The pure malice in his voice brought Tony out of himself.

"I-I didn't, I swear, it wasn't me."

"Then what are you doing here!?" The man was standing now. Tony tried not to notice the blood staining Sam's jeans.

"H-he called me." Tony couldn't breathe. Steve was dead. Steve was killed. Steve killed _himself._

"And why on earth would he call you!?"

"He, uh, he wanted to apologize."

"Apologize? He called _you _to apologize?!"

"Well, uh, yeah. Then... He... He..."

"He what?" Sam was shaking with anger. "Said, 'Congratulations you're getting your wish' or maybe you flat out told him to kill himself. I don't think you could get low enough to surprise me at this point!"

"Sam, I didn't, I never wanted this to happen! He just kept apologizing and, and then he said goodbye, then... Then... There was a gunshot and I traced the call to here."

The former paratrooper gave a short laugh. "And he called you! Of all the people in the world, he called you. You can't tell me that doesn't mean something!?"

"Sam, I-I'm telling you, this, this, wasn't me. I never wanted-"

"What you 'wanted' doesn't matter Stark. What matters is that you finally did it. You pushed him over the edge. You may not have pulled the trigger Stark, but you might as well have."

"S-Sam, Sam please, I-I didn't-"

"Get out!"

"Sam-"

"Unless you plan on arresting me, get out."

Sam turned as if Tony had never been standing there. Falling to his knees, he pushed Steve's half-opened eyes, closed.

Tony brought the helmet back over his face.

"Get me out of here."

"Boss-"

"Get me out of here!"

The suit obeyed.

**~A~**  
**There will be at least one more part.**

**Until then, please review. I write more when I get reviews :)**

**God bless,**  
**Jamie**


	4. The Phonecall Part 3

He couldn't breathe. He was hyperventilating. He needed to... He couldn't...

"Boss, the suit is transferring to autopilot. Take a deep breath. Col. Rhodes will be waiting for you when you arrive."

The words barely registered. It took everything within him to just breathe. He wanted nothing more than to be out of the suit. He struggled against it, but it remained firmly around him.

"Just take deep breaths, Boss."

But he couldn't. Air wasn't filling his lungs property.

After what seemed like an eternity, Iron Man landed on solid ground. The suit opened and Tony fell out.

Rhodey was there to catch him.

"Hey, its okay man, it's okay."

Tony heard the slight whir of his friend's exoskeleton as he took a step back.

That was his fault too.

Lurching away, he fell to his knees, grabbing the plastic trashcan beside his desk. He emptied his stomach into the container.

"Tony," a hand was laid on his back, "I need you to breathe for me, okay?"

He glanced up, but his eyes found their way to his desk. Then they fell on the phone.

Fighting against the full body tremors, he rose to his feet and practically lunged at the desk. His hand closed around the phone tightly before he gave an enraged shout and hurled the phone against the far wall. Taken over by a sudden fit of rage, he started knocking things off of his desk. He slammed them onto the floor, against the wall, and just generally knocked his hands against the desk.

When the workspace was empty, he turned away, hands yanking at his scalp.

Rhodey gently grabbed both of his wrists and worked them out of his hair. Slowly, the billionaire was set down in his office chair. His head was pushed between his knees, his hands pressed against something solid. His friend kneeled in front of him.

"Now, just breathe with me, Tony. That's right, breathe. Okay, now I want you to count with me. One,"

Tony could feel Rhodey's chest rising under his hands. He tried to mimic it, but found only a slimmer of oxygen entering.

"Two,"

The process repeated up to twenty and then back down.

The panic and rage faded away to be replaced with broken sobbing. Tony slid to the floor, leaning his face into Rhodey's shoulder. Strong hands embraced him as he allowed the tears to fall.

"I-I couldn't... I nev-never w-wanted... 'S my f-fault."

"Hey, it's okay Tones. Everythings going to be okay."

It wasn't. Nothing was going to be okay. "'S my fault."

"It's not your fault, Tony. Hey, hey, look at me."

He slowly raised his head to meet Rhodey's eyes. "It's not your fault."

Tony shook his head almost desperately. "You don-don't kn-know."

"No, I don't. But I'll be here whenever you're ready to tell me. Until then, you need to calm down."

He needed to tell him. He couldn't. What would Rhodey think? He had even more blood on his hands. He already had so much! But this was different. This was his... Friend.

"H-he's dead." It was choked out, his tears barely under control.

The colonel gave him an appraising look. "Who."

"He's dead and that's not the worst part." It wasn't, it never would be.

"Tony, what happened."

"S-Steve, Cap, he-he's dead."

A look of shock flashed across Rhodes' face. "Tony, I need you to stay calm, okay? Stay calm and tell me what happened."

"It's my fault!"

"How is it your fault, Tony? Did you and Steve fight again? Did you kill Steve?"

Tony continued to shake his head, "H-he k-killed himself. Sh-shot himself."

Rhodey's mouth opened slightly. "When did, when did this happen?"

"I dunno. Hour maybe? Called me and, and, apologized and, and the gun went off and there was nothing I could do! I went, s-saw it. S-Sam w-was r-right, my f-fault." He was shaking so bad his teeth were clacking together.

"You saw Sam? Where are they at?"

"B-Brooklyn,"

"Tony, stay here. I'm serious, okay? Don't leave this room. I'll be right back. Stay here."

Tony barely noticed when Rhodey left.

**~A~**

**Tony Stark deserves all the love in the world.**

**I finished writing this. There will be two more chapters.**

**Let me know what you think!**

**I really loved writing this one 3**

**God bless,**

**Jamie**


	5. The Phonecall Part 4

**This one is really short.**

**~TH~**

"Stark." The voice was hard and cold. He looked up from his position on his hands and knees.

"Na-Natasha?"

She took a step forward. "I want you to tell me _exactly_ what happened. I'll know if you're lying."

"Natasha..." He pleaded.

"Tony," Her voice stayed firm, but there might have been a slight softening of her eyes. "Sam said Steve called you. I want to know exactly what he said."

"I don- I don't know. Jus-just apologize a lot."

"What else." Tony had only ever heard that clipped tone when she was interrogating prisoners. Never towards him.

"I don't remember!"

"Stark."

"I have the recording, Boss."

"Play it." The assassin said without hesitation.

"No," Tony found himself whispering.

She didn't even spare him a glance.

_"Hello."_

_"H-hey Tony."_

_"Rogers. What do you think you're doing? I could call Ross right now with your coordinates."_

Natasha sent him a scathing glare.

_A soft laugh sounded from the phone, "That's true. And if you did..." There was a pause. "I'm sorry Tony. I-I was wrong. Should have, should have told you. My fault. I-I'm sorry."_

_"You know, uh, I could talk to Ross. I bet he'd pardon you, or whatever political thing needs to be done_ _if you'd just sign."_

_"I think it's too late for that."_

_"Aw come on! It'd be fine! You may not agree with it, but it's better than being a fugitive, right?"_

_"Tony..."_

_"Is this about Barnes? Because you know-!"_

_"He's gone."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"He went under cyro. He didn't... He didn't want to be a danger to anyone."_

_"Cap..."_

_"I'm sorry Tony."_

_"Steve, what-?"_

_"Goodbye,"_

_"What? Steve? What's happening. What do you mean its too late? Steve?!"_

_"I'm sorry." A gun discharged._

_"Steve!"_

Tony was having another panic attack.

"Tony, you need to breathe." Natasha's hands were soft on his face.

People kept saying that. Saying he needed to breathe. They didn't understand. They didn't understand anything.

"Rhodey will be back soon, but I need to go."

"It's all my fault, isn't it?" Tony mumbled.

Natasha glanced at him but didn't answer.

The silence was answer enough.

**~A~**  
**Final instalment tomorrow.**

**Please review!**

**But please don't flame. I've had people get really upset on how "easy" I'm being on Tony.**

**For those that think that, feel free to read any of my other stories. Most of them deal more with Steve than Tony.**

**Just don't accuse me of being a deluded Tony Stan.**

**If you don't like, don't read.**

**God bless,**  
**Jamie**


	6. The Phonecall Part 5

Rhodey came back an hour later with the body.

After that everything blurred together.

There was a funeral. A large, statewide funeral. Even Ross attended.

Captain America was mourned. The same people who had been hunting him only a week ago were now sobbing onto each other's shoulders, saying what a tragedy it was.

And it was. It was a tragedy.

One Tony felt personally responsible

for. It was clear Sam felt the same way. Clint had shown up at the funeral, it seemed house arrest didn't matter now that the leader of the rouges was dead. Clint was just as angry, if not more, than Sam.

Natasha stayed silent. She hadn't even looked at Tony since their brief encounter.

Wanda stood between Clint and Natasha. She cried nonstop. The Vision held her hand while she cried.

Pepper showed up. She didn't say much. It was clear she blamed him too.

Rhodey stood beside him, silent tears falling.

But Tony didn't cry. He felt numb. He didn't respond to anyone's condolences or accusations. He felt like nothing was real. Like he was living a dream. He's sure it only made the others hate them more.

Someone gave a speech about the life of Captain America. Some person from the VA talked about suicide in veterans. Tony tuned it out.

When it was done, it was done. They buried him at Arlington National Cemetary.

Only a week ago Steve had been a wanted fugitive, now he was a national hero.

A dead national hero.

When the press had stopped asking him questions, when he had finally made it home, he collapsed into an overused armchair. Rhodey sat across from him.

"Don't torture yourself, man. There's nothing you could have done."

Tony snorted.

"Seriously-"

"Go home Rhodey."

"Tony..." The colonel sighed.

"I'll be fine. I just... Need to be alone."

Rhodes gave him an appraising look, "Call me if you need me."

"I will," he waved.

"I'm serious Tones. I'm here for you. Don't blame yourself."

"Everyone else does."

"You know that's not true."

"Sam-"

"Sam's upset. He's angry. He doesn't actually blame you."

"The others-"

"Listen, Tony, you know these people. They may be upset now, but they'll get over it. They don't actually blame you. If they did, you'd already be dead."

"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing." He mumbled.

"Don't. Don't even go there. I've already lost one friend this weak, so just don't."

Tony nodded absentmindedly.

"I'm staying here tonight."

"No, Rhodes-"

"No arguments. I'm staying. You know where my room is if you need to talk."

Rhodey gave a final nod before heading to his guest sweet.

Tony was left alone.

It was silent.

It was a very loud silence.

Rhodey was wrong. It was his fault. Everyone did blame him. They would all be better without him.

Rising from the chair, he went to the room that Steve had formerly occupied. Tony looked around the tidy room. No one had lived in there for months. Even before the 'Civil War' most of the Avengers lived in the new compound, only he regularly stayed in the Tower.

But some things hadn't changed. Slowly he opened the drawer of the bedside table. Laying there was a S.H.I.E.L.D., standard issue Glock.

Tony stared for at it for a moment. It was loaded. He knew it was loaded.

Nobody would miss him.

Nobody would care.

With a shaking hand, he reached out.

Tony picked up the gun.

_Fin_

**~TH~**

**Yes. This is the end.**

**I think I'm going to combine all five chapters into one and make this a one-shot book about depression and mental disorders.**

**Let me know what you think about that.**

**And also what you think about the story!**

**God bless,**

**Jamie**


	7. Fear and Anxiety

**Anxiety - Peter Parker**

**Post Homecoming and Pre Infinity War.**

**Requested by xgood-vibesx. I hope this is okay. I know different people interpret Anxiety different ways.**

**Let me know what you think!**

**And be sure to give me some requests in the first chapter!**

**~TH~**

"It's okay. I'm okay." Peter covered his face breathing slowly. "Everything's fine. Everyone's fine. I just need to, need to breathe. Yeah, breathe. That's not so hard."

A knock at the door caused him to jump backwards. "Peter?"

"Uh, yeah Aunt May?"

"Is everything okay?" She pushed the door open.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, everything is great! Just, uh, really excited for, uh, my internship."

May nodded with a small smile, "Then you better head down. Happy's here."

"Oh, uh, right." He grabbed his bag and sprinted out the door, only taking a moment to hug his aunt.

He wasn't really sure what was wrong with him lately. He just felt so... On edge. Ever since he had become Spider-Man his hearing had been better. But it wasn't just better hearing, it seemed like he could hear everything. And that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but lately, things had been so weird. He would be perfectly normal, then all of a sudden he couldn't breathe.

It was stupid things that set it off. Like, when Ned brought up Liz. He passed it off as embarrassment for ditching her... But that wasn't it. The same thing happened when he was in small places. He had never been claustrophobic before, why now?

He had been set off only minutes ago by a text from MJ saying: Hey loser, don't forget about the meeting for next years Homecoming.

How stupid was that? Being set off by "Homecoming."

He just... Had to take a deep breath and focus.

"Hey Happy!" He jumped in the car. "Are we heading to the Tower, or is Mr Stark completely moved out?"

"He's still there." The loyal man grumbled.

Peter, as usual, ignored Happy's annoyed mood and rambled on about, well, everything.

When they reached the Tower, Happy dropped him off.

"Go on up to the lab, he should be waiting for you."

Peter nodded vigorously, his previous ordeal forgotten.

Everything was fine until he was on the elevator.

The first ten floors were okay. But then it just kept going. He hadn't ridden the elevator alone since his fight with the Vulture. He never realized how long the trip took. And were all elevators this small?

Taking a shaky breath, he fished out his phone.

"Candy Crush. Yeah. Candy Crush fixes everything."

His hands were shaking so bad that the phone slipped from his hand. The sound of the device hitting the floor was just too much.

"Nononono," he mumbled feeling his voice catch. "Stop. Just breathe."

The elevator kept going up. He put his hands in his hair.

He was trapped. He couldn't get out. Just like- just like... He needed out. He needed out now.

The moving stopped.

The doors opened.

He needed out.

He stumbled into the lab.

"Pete?"

Oh no.

It was Mr Stark.

He couldn't let him... Couldn't let him see.

"Pete, what's wrong?"

"I ca-can't," he felt tears coming to his eyes at the sheer helplessness of it all. He couldn't breathe. He pulled at his scalp, hoping the pain would bring a feeling other than panic.

"Ok, Peter, look at me, okay? Right in the eyes."

He looked up confused, when had he fallen on his knees?

"Good, now, I want you to breathe with me."

Peter shook his head vigorously. "B-but the Vulture tried to... The building fell and I... I couldn't get out. I couldn't get out!"

"Okay, Pete, it's okay. You're out now. You're out and you're with me. Now just breathe, okay? Like this, watch, okay?"

Mr Stark took a deep breath.

Peter attempted to mimic it but only found about half the normal oxygen entering.

"Good, good, let's do it again, okay?"

He took another breath. Peter again repeated it.

After several moments, Peter felt exhausted. His breathing was back to normal, but he was embarrassed.

"Oh, Mr Stark, I-I'm sorry, I don't know what that was, I didn't mean-"

"It was an Anxiety Attack and there's absolutely no need to apologize."

"But Mr Stark-"

"Ah!" He raised a hand to silence him, "No buts. It's not something you can control. They just happen. There is absolutely no reason to feel sorry about it."

"But I'm a superhero! Stuff like this shouldn't bother me!"

Tony actually laughed, "Kid, I get them too."

"Wha-?" Peter stared in shock, "You get them? But you're Iron Man you're invincible! Nothing scares you!"

"Oh really? For someone who's not scared of anything, I sure am scared of a lot."

"Like what?" Peter challenged softly.

"Well," Tony sighed, obviously uncomfortable. "I'm afraid of dentists, like really, must they drill so loudly?"

Peter smiled.

"I'm afraid of the world running out of coffee."

Peter shook his head laughing.

"I'm afraid of the dark" His voice took on a sudden quietness. "and water," He sighed, "and losing you."

Peter stared, mouth open.

"Now your turn, what are you afraid of?"

"I, uh, well..."

"Come on Pete, it's normal to be afraid. Talking will help."

"Your promise not to tell?"

"I promise not to tell," Tony sat back and motioned for him to start talking.

"It's, it's small spaces. Being trapped. I can't... It's stupid I know."

"Absolutely not! If what you were mumbling about is anything to go off of you were trapped under a building?"

"Uh, yeah, but I got out."

Tony laid a hand on his shoulder. "It's perfectly normal Peter. There was a time where I would have an anxiety attack when people said 'New York.'"

"Homecoming," Peter mumbled.

"Its normal Pete. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Peter nodded.

"Now, I have some update ideas for your suit." Tony stood and held out his hand. Peter took and was pulled to his feet.

"Hey, uh, Mr Stark."

"Hm?" Tony turned to look at the boy.

"Thanks."

Tony smiled, "No problem kid. Now, about those suit upgrades..."

**~TH~**

**Still open for requests!**

**I might write some for myself, but at present, I don't have any plans.**

**Until then!**

**God bless,**

**Jamie**


	8. The Phonecall: Aftermath

**Requested by baker_and_fangirl (Ao3).**

**It's probably not exactly what she wanted, but it was the best I could come up with...**

**She asked for people's response to Tony's suicide.**

**It's super short, but I tried.**

**God bless,**

**Jamie**

**~TH~**

**Rhodey**

Rhodey woke up suddenly. Immediately alert, he cautiously crawled out of bed and worked himself into his leg braces.

"Tony?" He called out, his hand holding a gun. "Tony, where are you?"

Rhodey felt sick but he wasn't sure why. "Tony!"

The door to Steve's old room was open.

"Tony?" He stepped in and felt the gun fall from his hands. "Tony." He whispered, standing over the lifeless body.

He was too late.

**Pepper**

She was on a flight back to California when her phone began ringing. She picked it up, not looking at the Caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Pepper," the voice was quiet.

"Rhodey? What's wrong, what happened?" She could feel it. She could feel deep in her soul something was wrong. "Where's Tony?"

"He-he's dead."

"What?" She whispered. "How?"

"The same way. The same exact way."

A sob made its way out of her throat.

"Ms Potts? Is everything okay?" A flight attendant asked her.

She shook her head. Nothing was okay.

Natasha

Natasha knew before anyone. Steve had left some things at the Tower. She intended to get them. What she found instead was a dead body.

She gently closed Tony's eyes before letting silent tears fall.

No one knew she had been there.

**Sam**

Sam found out through a newspaper. After his death, Captain America's team had been pardoned. He hadn't left Brooklyn.

The newspaper said in bold letters: TONY STARK COMMITS SUICIDE AFTER FUNERAL OF CAPTAIN AMERICA.

Sam grabbed it, absentmindedly paying for it.

He had never actually blamed Tony, now he was dead. Iron Man was dead.

His friend was dead.


End file.
